I am a native to Lexington, Kentucky (not born, but raised). If you have never been there before, let me start by saying it is the "Biggest-small-town" that I have ever known. Most everybody knows everyone through some mutual friend or distant acquaintance. It's a wee bit hard to stay out of the "rumor mill" here. But, nonetheless it is my hometown and the place where I spent the best 2 years of my life. Which leads me to my next point...
I attended the University of Kentucky (Go Cats!) and met the Lord for the first time during my sophomore year. I can fill you in on the details later - but for a brief overview I spent the first 20.5 years of my life as an Atheist, not believing in this whole "Christianity thing" and in fact making fun of and speaking out against the reliability of the Bible - during a Pro-Homosexuality speech I gave my Senior Year. Praise God he did not give up on me then! Through a series of events over the summer leading into my junior year of college I gave my life to Christ and it has been forever changed. I attribute nothing of my salvation to my foolish mind, but to the precious blood of Christ.
Currently, I am training to be a Human Resource Manager for Target and absolutely love it! The job has led me to Louisville, KY where through another crazy chain of events, the Lord blessed me with the awesomest roomate - Hannah Joiner. (Let me preface the next part by saying - I tried everything to not make this sound like a dating site ad, but I think I failed miserably) With that being said, in my spare time, I enjoy reading, running, trying out coffee shops, and eating anything ice-cream related (though I have tried to cut back.) I feel most satisfied in life when the windows are down, the music is up, and the horizon shows nothing but farmlands and a setting sun. My dream in life has always been to one day retire to a lake house and spend the remainder of my life lost in a book on the water. As corny as that all sounds, it is the truth.
Now to the best part…I wrote out 4 discussion points, but feel free to pick and choose which ones to answer. Some are just to evaluate the condition of your own heart.
Discussion Questions:
1) It didn’t take me but two paragraphs to find something that sparked a question. On page 7, Elisabeth discusses the tendency as women to have a “downward gaze” on relationships. It made me think, where do I stand? Do I have the tendency to have a “downward gaze” dismissing every guy that comes along because he isn’t the perfect person I dreamed of? Or do I have the tendency to have an “eye-level gaze” where I look at every man as a possible potential to be my husband? I think this is an attitude of the heart that we all can check ourselves on and be aware of throughout our pursuit of purity. My question to you ladies is where you stand? How do you think we can all turn our hearts to an “upward gaze?”
2) On page 21, Elisabeth discusses her fear of being alone for the rest of her life. Where do you think this fear is rooted? Is this something that you personally struggle with? If so, what scriptures have given you peace in this area?
3) Throughout pages 22-23, Elisabeth makes a great point about the condition of society’s view on purity, in that “times have changed.” What do you have to say about society’s impact on purity? Do we really have “freedom” to be liberated from our inhibitions? Or “by trying to grab fulfillment everywhere, we find it nowhere?” If the standard set by God has not changed, what is our role in protecting purity in an age where purity does not exist?
4) On page 24, Stephen Olford makes the point that women shouldn’t be agitated by the choice of a mate, but should be “asleep.” What does that look like in your life? Have you ever been “asleep?” In what ways? Does being asleep mean never laying eyes on a man? Is it a continual state of being, or are there points of struggle? (Basically feel free to elaborate on this point)
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Alright, ladies, let the discussion begin! Please post your comments and watch the blog for others' thoughts as well.
I am so excited about this study; my only hesitation is how transparent I am going to have to be with people I have never even met. But I think that unless I am 100% honest with you all then I cannot gain everything that God wants me to from this study. I hope that you all will join me in the humbling journey of honesty with all our sisters in Christ, and one day Lord willing we will have grown closer to each other while growing closer to the Lord.
ReplyDelete1. My tendency is to have a downward gaze, as in focusing on earthly desires instead of an upward gaze that is fixed on Christ and His desires. I have truly been struggling as of late to keep my eyes on Jesus when I am feeling the pressure of time and envy towards my friends that are already married. I am tempted to keep looking around me for the "right" guy and constantly gauging my actions of: am I putting myself out there or am I being too flirty. I think an upward gaze looks like Hebrews 12:1-2 "fixing your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith." Lord, give me an upward focus where my eyes are FIXED on YOU.
2. The fear of being single FOREVER is a real fear that I struggle with. Satan uses Godly lifestyles and experiences such as singleness and martyrdom and skews them to make believers think they are negative outcomes. Again our focus turns in on ourselves when we worry about our lack of dating life instead of God's glory, which is Satan's ultimate plan that God would not receive glory. Psalm 32, 37 and several others talk about how God cares for us and has a plan for us. I turn to this book when I am fearing the future.
3. Society has taken the beautiful God-ordained creation of sex in marriage and distorted it to unrecognizable filth, and yet they make it almost look glamorous. I think if TV and Internet had never been invented, our culture may still have some value for purity, but who knows. Our role in protecting purity first begins with integrity in our own relationships and in our thoughts. Then, having the conversation in our workplaces and classrooms about our decision to wait for marriage, a concept that is foreign to most these days.
ReplyDelete4. Awakening love before God's timing can look like a number of things: having intimate conversations with a guy, watching movies that cause a person to lust, or even for some kissing before marriage can awaken love. In a past relationship of mine, my boyfriend and I decided to stop kissing until if/when we got married because we felt like it was "awakening love" in our hearts. That decision was made a year ago yesterday and I am so thankful that God allowed us to put love back to sleep, seeing that we are no longer together and certainly aren't married. For me the toughest times of struggle were when I was considering marrying this guy and thought for sure he was "the one." I know now that I cannot be sure of anything until I have 2 (and I repeat TWO) rings on my finger. Going back to sleep for me has been a process of realizing I am not getting married next summer and I have no idea when/if the prospect of marriage will come back into my life anytime soon. I have to wait for the Lord to move in the heart of a godly man to desire to marry me and until then my heart must slumber. I am praying daily for rest and comfort as going back to sleep is a challenge for my anxious heart.
I love you girls and I hope I didn't put too much out there and scare you all away. I hope that we can be diligent in reading this book and posting comments on the blog. I look forward to reading your comments as well! Have a great week in the Lord.
Thanks, Sarah. Thanks for opening up (and for being the brave one to comment first!)
ReplyDeleteI want to comment on #2 and #4.
2. It's easy to struggle with singleness when you believe your desire to be a godly helpmate is given by the Lord. I have to remind myself of this thought process: If it's of the Lord, He will provide in His timing, and I should not worry myself with it. If it is not of the Lord, I also should not worry myself with it. I agree with Sarah, though, in that it's very hard to be "asleep" when expectations are so high to be married, and soon.
Scriptures: Romans 8:32--"He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" (Not assuming "all things" means a husband, but it does mean all things that He knows we need. He will supply all of our NEEDS.)
Psalm 107:9--"He satisfies the longing soul..." (God is satisfying on His own.)
I also love Matthew 6:25-34, and constantly apply it to many of life's uncertainties and am encouraged.
4. I'm far too often an insomniac. Most often a light sleeper. It's a challenge but an area in which I can thankfully see the Lord working in my heart. Although it's a daily struggle as Sarah said, I am learning to place each guy I meet/interact with in God's hands, recognizing my responsibility is to treat each of them as brothers in Christ until further notice. Far too often we are more concerned with DATING young men than DISCIPLING them. As brothers and sisters, we are to encourage one another and build each other up (1 Thess. 5:11) while waiting patiently for the Lord.
I have just started reading the book, and slowly learning how I could bring my love life under Christ's authority. I see that all this was posted way back 2010-2011 (which by the way, I would be 13 or 14 then), but I would really appreciate it if any of you ladies share how life as a single woman has been after all those years.
ReplyDelete